Today is my birthday. Guess what I’m doing? Working!

Surprised? Of course you’re not. I’m a workaholic. Duh! What else would I be doing?

However, in light of the barrage of Facebook messages I’m receiving, I figured it would be a good idea to write this post – seeing as there’s a common thread amongst them; everyone is encouraging me to take the day off. Ha! Me? Take the day off? Silly, people.

That being said… here are a few tips you can try if you want to help the workaholic in your life celebrate the day they came kicking and screaming into this world.

Tip #1 – Hide The Computer

Most workaholics are tethered to their computers. Emails. Websites. Productivity apps. The possibilities are endless.

My computer is rarely more than 5 feet away from me, and usually I have no less than ten apps open at any given moment.

Because computers are such a timesuck, hiding them is your first line of defense. Be forewarned… there’s a good chance hiding your beloved’s computer will lead to your untimely death.

Tip #2 – Hide The Cell Phone

Don’t be fooled, your little worker bee can remain just as connected with a cell phone as they can with a computer. Damn you, technology… damn you to Hell.

If you’re not a workaholic you may not realize something; those random notifications we get throughout the day are like tiny little highs to us. By the way, it’s a cruel joke when we hear a notification, check our phones, and then realize it wasn’t for us. Oh, the horror!

Workaholic Pro-Tip #231: Select a unique notification sound to avoid the letdowns. =]

Tip #3 – Disguise The Trade Publications

Unfortunately, for my husband, this is not an easy task.

Most of the books in our house can easily fall into the category of “trade publications”. We have books about programming, illustration, writing, farming… these are the obvious ones. However, even the most seemingly unrelated books can lead us workaholics back to work.

In my case… children’s books, graphic novels, and works of fiction are all doorways that lead me back to my work. You see, I don’t just read; I read and wonder how my work can benefit from the content inside this book. Your workaholic loved one is probably no different. Make sure to use a keen eye when seeking out your selection.

Tip #4 – Lock Up The Cleaning Supplies

An often overlooked “hobby” of the workaholic is cleaning. Yeah, I know… it sounds bizarre. But, to be honest, when I need a break from work, I do more work – and that work is cleaning my house.

It doesn’t matter if my house is spotless. I’ll track down my vacuum, my duster, and my various spray bottles, and then I’ll spend the next hour or so bouncing from room-to-room finding things to clean.

Of course, if your house needs a little cleaning, there’s no harm in skipping this tip!

Tip #5 – Use The Force (Luke)

Ok, so you’ve tried everything and your beloved workaholic still wants to work. What can you do? Obviously, you only have one choice left…

Kidnap them!

Why? Because nothing says I love you – quite like duct tape. =]

All kidding aside, offer to take them out. Secretly, we workaholics love this – even if we complain about having so much to do that we couldn’t possibly break away… blah blah blah. Find a way to get us out of the house! It’s good for us, and it’s good for you.

If you’re a workaholic and you’re reading this, I have a special message for you (and it won’t require a Little Orphan Annie Decoder Pin):

There is no better way to spend your birthday than surrounded by the folks you love. Besides… it’s a great way for you to sneak in some people watching.

In Conclusion

I hope these tips help. For me, it’s too late. I’m here for the duration since I’m already knee deep in these projects.

But, for the rest of you… I’m hoping you’ll have success in getting your workaholic to take a day off. If not, don’t be too hard on yourself – we’re a tough nut to crack!